I raised my hand in the corner of a small, dark room. The curtains blow slowly in the open windows. The shadow of my hand resembled a tree that grew suddenly in the middle of the night at the rightmost wall. As I moved my hand to clasp the shadow formed, it’s as if the tree fell down on my hand. Fluorescent light from the neighbor illuminate the shadow and the dim room, the right instant the tree shadow vanished. The gloom that struggled inside my stinging sentiment was like the atmosphere in the dim dark space – cold, swaying, alone, and in a mysterious spot. The memories flow down, flooding me, preoccupying my mentality. Hours I would lie there.. summoning the fragments of memories I once did, I once thought, the ones I dreamed of. The unexplainable hurt, the pain intensifying each minute.. reverberate in every nerve of my being. The sadness, the misery. Fighting the feelings away turn you to something irrational, fanatical in every way.. You stare at the ceiling in reverie, or roll back and forth in the warm sheets you used to lay. You realize the other sheet is too cold now, you haven’t moved for the past thirty minutes. You just lay there, in a monotonous trance of scrutiny and realizations. There’s nothing you can do now, you wait for the morning dews to settle in your window or the rays of sun gun down in your face in the early hours. You become conscious you heaved the deepest sigh in all these years. A trial, that’s all you can think of now, rather than accept it as a challenge without solution.. it drives you crazy. You think of other things while you close your eyes, but the notion of being hurt comes back every now and then. You stare again. You bat an eyelid in the badly lit room. Oh, you wish you could sleep..
Three months. You can find a job if you’re lucky enough. You can travel to more than 30 countries if you are well blessed in riches. You can marry. You can finish a book if you want, and write one. Create hundreds of accounts in different social networking sites. Or you can just stay at home and wait for something good to happen. Three months is all takes to finish one whole summer. Yes, one whole summer.
I’ve been bouncing around the house and scribble down my jumbled ideas on “what-to-do” this summer, though nothing comes out of it. But as I laid down the maroon sofa, frozen and monotoned, the universe did its job on me. So much idea squeezed its way into the center of my reasons and to my empty day, thus, furnishing a new path to stroll on. All it takes is a little nudge to start the ball rolling, and my summer was strictly defined – overfilled gratification, first rate experience, and unanticipated insights on what I can be in not-so-far-away future.
Senior seniority. People come and go, you meet them in crossroads and sometimes you just don’t, but the memories remain. I have many friends, young and old alike. For me, age is just a number and the experiences they have is what matters. This year though, many of my friends graduated – older than me friends. I wish them all the best, goodluck and soar high! Godspeed and God bless, may the outer world be friendlier than what I see in movies. haha
Speech library and computers. If given the chance to go somewhere, I would be in an exotic island toning my skin in a white beach this summer. But reality check: The choice wasn’t even there in the first place! Keeping my hopes up is a bad day dreaming, very bad. So instead of indulging myself in impossibility and dosing magic mushrooms in dozens (kidding), I enrolled two subjects for the summer semester – English 3 (Oral Communication) and Computer Science 1, which clarifies why “speech library and computers”. Contentedly declaring, I think I did very well in both subjects. (Who wouldn’t? Only two subjects for the whooole summer?) But aside from acquiring good ole grades, I had the honor of having brand new friends and a new mom – my “lovely” family. Having them for less than 30 days everyday is amazing, but having them while you laugh and cry is beyond amazement. English 3 is known for having variety shows, and thus, we ought to practice to learn by heart those steps, it’s our grades – not to mention, Im their president. Haha. Budding friendship is inevitable, and so does the love that formed between us. It’s a family.. a family worth having and treasuring perpetually. (Instead of going to a white beach and an exotic island, we ended up in a large pool and an exotic falls. Haha. Still worthwhile!)
Friends for thought. I had the wackiest time with my high school batchmates this summer. I never even thought that the trip would be a success. Need to elaborate my contentment?
Organization matters. As professionally as it may sound – YES, I had a good time joining the Ranao Council Inc. Annual Assembly on its 33rd with its well calibrated and esteemed list of members.
I was inclined to attend to in view of the fact that first of all, I am a bona fide member of the organization. Second, almost all member of the family is part of it. And thirdly, my dad is the current president of the council. I thought to myself, “One day, I’m going to be like one of them – strong-willed, respected, and someone looked up to by the young ones.”
The reunion. It has been six years since the last grand reunion took place. You see, Maranao people are extremely clannish. We hold our kinship ties as valuable as those to royal families. This summer, the second grand reunion of the grand clan took place. We amassed the whole area like ants of a flooding colony, we were at our peak, and the clan is very.. “prolific” in production. I already had my nieces and nephews by my second and first cousins, and Im just 18 at the moment. But never mind the number, we all came from one ancestor, Macabago – Cabugatan sa Marawi, a sort of an advisor, a duke, or a close relative to the royal family? I don’t really know what “Cabugatan” means, but it may present itself to me as a shock to learn that Im a prince or an advisor to the royal court! Haha. (Shoot! Again with the daydreaming. ) Ok, great! Enough with the history lessons, the event was a success even though rain smattered and thunderclaps drummed the night sky. I had fun, and I was glad I did familiarize who my cousins are. And pleased that my forbearer managed to bring into being a unified family of hundreds and a circle of relationships bound sturdily.
Talk about us. We were both parentless this summer. Mine went to Saudi and so does her’s. It’s a looong story. Ask me personally later. All I can say, “She gives me premature ventricular contractions.”
Mom and dad coming home. She was wearing flower patterned blue blouse and gold bracelets, he was wearing a spanking indigo polo and more than php10,000 Ray Ban shades, and not only armed with up-to-the-minute outfit but with a new outlook in life. She is my mom, and he, is my dad. After 30 days outside the country (particularly Saudi), nothing beats the wild scent and unruffled puff of air of their homeland, and where their family dwell. Baggage and luggage are the usual associates of a customary traveler; in the company of it all, the storytelling is never out of date. The account of their 2500 km travel around Saudi Arabia (city to city trek) is elevated to new heights as long as my mom and dad tell the story.. You can feel every curve and upturns of their chronicles, each jest, slapsticks, and weeps and wails, and the entire thrill behind the enthusiastic raconteurs. We are all just happy that they did enjoy the outing they deserve.. We promise, this won’t be the last time you’d tour. We love you, devotedly.
Adieu summer! It wasn’t really the expected summer, or the looong break I dreamed of. But it was, at a standstill, “unmatched”. The summer was a cocktail of experience unlike any other. I was happy in one way or the other – meeting different kinds of people, having a good grade and good time in one, laughed day and night. I’m reasonably glad I had my summer at home. (Though I would be more contented if I were somewhere-off the grid, talk about “exotic”. haha) Well then, all graces to the next summer! Keep moving forward, as what Mr. Disney put it. Everything is laid down in the table; the ball is in your court.