Humans can never be satisfied. Not with their selves, not with the world.
I was sitting on the far edge of a cliff; a thousand feet above the sea overlooking the calm horizon that stretched forever. Grey clouds covered the setting sun, streaks of lightning flashed far and swift. The roar of the white surfs below was as inaudible as the grey clouds creeping above me. The wind blowing past me, its salty smell prickling my nose – an antithesis of that sweet smell of the country, of mountains and pines. I was alone.
Solitude usually drives me to insanity, but today it felt nothing; a sheet of paper void of any ink, of any stain. Innocence? Or ignorance? Should I take a look back and start filling up the empty paper again with words and well-thought-out ideas that stemmed out of familiarity. Where should I begin? Treachery? Ache? Desire?
As I started to contemplate, two little birds flew in. One danced and twirled in the air with wings wide open, breaking every gush of wind that comes towards it. Brave, bold, free. The other rested on a thick-foliaged oak as long as I set my eyes upon it; deep in a concentrating posture overseeing the long stretch of water present before it. Calm, full of wisdom, venerable.
What do they mean? Who are these birds? What are they?
Thunder growled before me, the rain poured in, the birds were gone. And one by one, every little detail disappeared and melted; a sheet of wax devoured by fire.
My eyes were open. I was then awake. Senses flushed through me, my mind collected the memories, breath overcoming my chest. The long reverie came to halt and reality consumed me.
I stared blankly in the ceiling, and thought about the dream. Composure. Is it a choice – to choose and decide? I reflected, and swam in the dream and what it means. I swam and filled myself with it.
Then it came. It struck me. I realized I was crazy.. crazy for both. But which one? Where to start? How to begin?
I think its time to take a second look of that pen and blank sheet of paper, and start to write from scratch. And I realized I don’t have to choose anymore – because from the very beginning, I was decided all along.