We can all fake faces, make people believe what we want them to believe. We can ridicule, judge, and pretend we are smarter than everyone else. We can be who we wanted to be. We can be bastards to make someone else’s life a living hell. We are greedy and take value of our pride. We hurt others to make ourselves superior, we declare our might and perverseness when we get the chance to destroy somebody weaker. We bathe on their feebleness and take joy in it.
We are humans, we love to see others get hurt. We are nothing but HUMANS.
Mending a broken heart isn’t as easy as putting a bandage on a swollen wound. It takes up so much courage and recognition of that blistering soreness between your ribcages. You unconsciously push away everyone around you and realize that you wanted this people back in your life again. Pushing and pulling, ache and hurt, scar and healing. So many complicated processes to get back to your feet again, to walk.. to run.. to dance. Well, we can’t argue on that anyway – “growing up” taught us that everything would be possible, may it be in the slowest progression and longest route. Just like one begin to walk when he was first brought out into this world. Human instinct tells us to stand up and conquer the world. So in the end, giving up is not a goddamn option. Strength, motivation, self-willingness, acceptance – all these vocabularies weren’t coined for nothing right?
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
I felt the ache slam in my caged heart. The hurt, the sadness, the screeches of my poor soul. The incongruity of it all; you give away the truest trust and then be paid back with mistrust that follows it. Like a fallen angel, you need to get a hold of the purest wings to return back to the heavens with untainted intentions. That’s how trust is given back once lost – you need the most logical reason for it, and the conviction to want that reliance again.
Sacrifices were exchanged, our devotion was lit, grudges and insecurities purged. But why then? Of all things need be broken; why of all, the chain that has bonded us? Is it because of the tight fastenings? Or of the loose rusty chain? Or were you sick of it all? Was I deaf by your insistent mumblings of the pain that chained us? Blinded by my principles? Lo then, I will remain silent, and not a word will you hear of me till I myself feel that soreness you felt. I will dwell with the silence, and live with the forlornness till I eye out the possibilities and answers I seek, and you seek.
I begin to trust myself and myself alone. Act naturally and smile and wink as I used to be. I am happy on where you are happy. Regret and repulsions are not the choices I palmed out with my hands; it was sincerity and honesty I requested. But tossing it away was severe..
I then ask of you this, once the doors are closed; turning back is not an option. You go away, and bid you a good spree of what your destiny holds for you. And do not worry, for I.. I will be indiscernible – away from your sight, invisible from your attention.